As far as the beginning, the whole time (from the briefcases to the computer screen) Matt is basically tracking down the guy who stole his soul, and he’s supposed to have found out where the guy is, which is was springs him into action. It seems obvious now that something clarifying that’s what’s happening would be a good idea, I guess I was writing kinda for myself so I already knew what was happening. I’ll stick something in there and let ya know.

Thanks for the feedback!

The page 2 dialogue (“Merchandise?”… “You sold my soul!”) is awesome. You get a lot of information out through their conversation, which doesn’t resort to saying when/where/how this soul was taken or sold. The ambiguity is a good thing – it adds a lot of depth, makes the story richer.

I’ve just read through it twice, trying to think if I’d have any recommendations to give you, and I really don’t. It’s good and it’s solid. The only thing was that I was confused in the beginning – did Matt get a message on his computer and that is what snapped him into action or did he have an inner realization about something? The script has him looking at the computer and then leaving and I was wondering what exactly made him decide to go.

Love you, Mom

:> Mom

That board is one of the vertical posts of the bridge, the marks were our method of telling where in the structure it belonged. There was a 1 end and a 5 end (there were 5 posts along the length of the bridge), a semicircle chisel mark meant it was on the upstream side of the bridge, and the flag or tick mark at the top meant it was on the inside of the bridge (each side had two sets of posts, one that planks were nailed to and one that were exposed on the inner wall). So this one is the 5-end upstream inside post. And I cut all its joinery myself .